Really I would love to hear from everyone on this issue. My children are just like most American children these days. They think that money grows on trees. Yes, I believe that we have done a few things right. The receive an allowance based on work that they do. Not just everyday chores or things that are expected of them no matter what but for those things over and beyond. This is about $5 per week for each child. They have learned how fast it disappears when they shop and how the money does not go far if you do not shop wisely. They have learned that ordering online without free shipping is the devil! Still, I don’t know how to stress to them that the world is in a different place right now.
This is an especially hard conversation to have with children with the holidays fast approaching. My family had decided that we would all ask for a Nintendo Wii and now, even if the we have the money on the day we want to buy it, I’m not sure it is the most wise decision to make when we aren’t sure what will become of my DH’s jobs. How do we talk to them and help them through it without completely putting a burden on them. I know that in our household the oldest child will stew and worry his head off. He will also be judgemental and critical of anything he sees us do that he perceives as an error. He has developed quite an attitude and loves to show it off at times (usually in front of guests). Because we homeschool I am lucky that we have the time to invest in teaching him during this time of his life.
My second child will stew and fret in his own way but it will show itself in his behavior. He becomes unpredictable when there is stress. He can be very impulsive and it worries me at times. He is a sweet child and a good child. He does not cause us stress. I just know that he feels the worries and doesn’t really know what to do with the feelings that he is having. He just doesn’t know how to cope and I need to help him develop skills for this.
My five year old is of the mind that if she wants it and asks Santa for it, why wouldn’t it come?
The only redeeming factor here is that the two year old would be thrilled with a blank piece of paper at Christmas!
So, Dear Readers, please help me with insight and wisdom. How are you helping your child to realize that things are changing for all of us financially. How do you not scare them so much as spur them on to want to become educated, well rounded financial savers who will be prepared for these times should they hit again in their lifetime? Please chime in, I am desperate.
Susan said,
October 30, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
My girls, 14 and 17, can’t stand to have the money talk with us. They always feel like we are burdening them down and telling them things they just don’t want to hear. A couple of weeks ago we had no choice but to have a frank and honest talk with the girls.
My husband pulls in three pay checks. His full time job is safe, for now but people don’t buy too many high end fishing boats in this economy. He has a very, very part time job at our church and he teaches martial arts 4 hours a week mostly for the free lesson he and the girls receive in return, (more of a barter than a job). We live a very frugal life and all three of these together barely make the monthly bills. Living in Florida is expensive. Low salaries and high prices. Our home is not above our means but our home owner’s ins and property taxes are. Something we have no control over.
So back to the girls. We just told them the seriousness of the situation. They get it but not entirely. Our children have been educated in the various political systems and my oldest has studied economics. This election has them concerned. Not just because mom and dad are concerned, but because they understand the possible consequences of the outcome.
I think our children need to know but only to the extent they are able to cope. It’s kind of like having the sex talk. You only tell them what they can process at the time. Also, things are always relative. My 17 year old thought $3 gas prices were great. That’s because when she started driving gas was $3.50. Her budget now has a little breathing room because today gas is at $2.50. My youngest owns a horse. I know that’s not the right kind of pet for a frugal family. The opportunity presented itself and she became a horse owner. She boards the critter for chores and poop scooping at a friend’s property. She also rides competitively once a month. That ain’t free and she has to figure out how to pay for it each month. We used to pay the entry fees but can’t do that any longer. This has been a good lesson for her.
For my children reality lessons always seem to offer the best teachable moments. I don’t know how you usually do Christmas so maybe buying one gift for the entire family is a message in reality. Everyone is sacrificing for the family to benefit. We’ve found too that when things are the tightest in our household, giving something to others feeds our souls. We spend the weekend before Thanksgiving preparing dinner for our church family. The church pays for the meat, potatoes, and provides the dining area but everyone who attends brings a dish to share. We feed at least 200 people every year. My children have grown up participating in this event and have “accidentally” learned that many have far less than us. We’ve also worked soup kitchens. My children sometimes ask for us to do this as a service project in youth group. These opportunities to experience poverty vicariously have offered many teachable moments.
I don’t know that I’ve answered your questions but this has been good therapy for me. Thanks for letting me share.
Blessings
Susan
–
http://www.homeschoolnittygritty.com
(a work in progress)
http://www.homeschoolnittygritty.wordpress.com
(a collection of my rambling thoughts and ideas)
http://www.goodsearch.com (searching and shopping to benefit my favorite non-profit, http://www.parents-etc.com)
homeschoolnittygritty-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (a bi-monthly newsletter of support, information, and encouragement)
homeschoolplayground said,
October 30, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Susan, thanks so much for your comments! You have a wonderful family, that much is obvious. I think you have great wisdom here with being blunt with your children but at an age appropriate level.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Angie